


the floor is lava

by kaspbr



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempt at Humor, Bill Denbrough & Eddie Kaspbrak Are Best Friends, Eddie Kaspbrak is Nick Miller, F/M, Jealous Eddie Kaspbrak, Jealous Richie Tozier, Kinda, M/M, Multi, New Girl au, Richie Tozier is Jessica day, Romantic Comedy, Slow Burn, Unresolved Romantic Tension, and they were ROOMMATES, but make it gay, i mean like rlly slow, only a little angst, the elevator is important guys, yall know i have to tag it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:20:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26237026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaspbr/pseuds/kaspbr
Summary: After finding his boyfriend with other man, Richie Tozier is homeless and broken-hearted, so he does what anyone would do, he impulsively moves into a loft with three strangers. Together with Richie’s best friends, Stan and Bev, and Mike, who lives next door, they bond to form an unlikely, and dysfunctional, family.OrA New Girl AU
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Mike Hanlon, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Patricia Blum Uris/Stanley Uris
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	the floor is lava

**Author's Note:**

> hi! so before we start i want to clarify that you dont have to know what happens on new girl to read because i’m not going to stick exactly to the show, i’m just taking bits and pieces. idk if how long it’s going to be or if i’m even gonna finish at all but this is my first work in the it fandom so pls be nice

Richie Tozier is a lover. When he loves, he loves deeply and irrationally (at least that’s what his mom told him), he loves with his full heart, he gives everything away and wants nothing in return. Everyone knew that If you break his heart, you break him. Which is probably the reason why Richie feels like his body is being rip in peaces right now. 

“Babe, look I can explain” Spencer stood in front of Richie, hands sitting on his bare shoulders because he’s  naked. And standing in front of his boyfriend of three years and his other lover , trying to pull him over to the couch

Richie smacks his hands away and slowly backs away from him, making himself trip on the planet that he spilled over while he was doing his strip tease. 

“Um, should I go?-“ The other man ( holy shit he’s fucking cheating on me-)  says from his spot leading against the door frame. 

“No. Stay” Spencer says, almost begging.  What the fuck.

Spencer turns to the other man and looks him dead in the face “I want you here” and that’s the last straw for Richie. Pushing himself up off the ground, he wraps the forgotten trench coat on the floor around himself and practically runs out of the house. Fishing out his phone, he taps in the name that reads  _STAN_ and lets all the tears he was holding in.

* * *

“And that’s how I became homeless.” Richie smiled tightlyas the three men starred at him dumbfounded. 

This wasn’t going how he planned it. Richie hasn’t spoken about what happened since Stan came to pick him up on the curve side, crying his eyes out while his boyfriend bangs the 23 year old in their home and he’s been completely fine with that. Keeping things in a bottle while Bev and Patty give him worried looks from the kitchen is something that he’s used to. He was fully prepared to bottle up all that shit before coming to the interview, but no, his big mouth had to go and tell three strangers about the time he walked in on his boyfriend cheating on him while he was supposed to be seducing him with his body.

“I’m sorry, you spent a week, a whole week, to plan this big sex surprise and the best stripper name you could come up with was Tiger cock?” Richie blinks a few times at the man sitting in front of him. Richie watches as the man scrunches up his face in disapproval. He looks at him for a good ten minutes before folding his arms out in front of his chest like a toddler at time out. “You think you could do any better fanny pack?” nodding his head toward the red fanny pack that sat on the other man’s waste.

Bill snorts into his drink, making his coffee going all over his white shirt and dark red flannel over shirt. Richie figures if looks could kill, Bill would probably five knives in his chest judging by the way Eddie’s looking at him. 

“Yes, I do think so.” Eddie says, “And fanny packs are very resourceful when it comes to dangerous situations” he adds as he waves his finger toward Richie as if that will make what he’s saying more important. “It saved Ben here’s life once.”

Ben, who was watching the scene play out from the other side of the couch looks between the two men, who have now turned all their attention on him. “Well I think I could have probably lived...” he trailed off as Eddie’s glare basically cuts his head off. 

Deciding to change the subject, Richie stands from his chair and stands in the sunlight near the windows. “Call me crazy but I really wanna live here.” 

“No offense,” Eddie starts, as he walks and stands in front of the other man and Richie makes a mental note in his head about their height difference. “But we don’t know anything about you. You could be some creep that watches us sleep at night and cuts our hair to collect it or something” 

Richie used to have this friend in high school named Melvin; he was short and had some anger issues. Eddie reminds him of good old Mel, he’s a good foot shorter then Richie himself and he dresses like a old man going on a vacation to Florida. Richie grins “Well I’m a up and rising comedian, I work as a disc jockey at that piece of shit club five minutes from here. And I specialize in fucking your mom.” To that, Eddie scrunched up his nose “I like to sing a lot,  a _lott”_ Richie finished with a high pitched singing voice making Eddie push his eyebrows so far to together Richie was sure that when he relaxed, the wrinkle would still be there. 

”Well,” Bill, who was cleaning the coffee off his shirt, starts as he stands next to Mr. wrinkle forehead “I think we all agree when I say that you would be a great fit for us.” 

Eddie snaps his head so fast, it doesn’t even look humanly possible. “Uh, no we don’t.” 

“Why not?” Ben speaks up “he’s got a job, and not like he has any pets or anything” To that he turns to Richie “you don’t, right?” 

“Not in 5 years, my good sir.” 

“Then it’s perfect!” Ben throws his hands in the air and stands to shake Richie’s hand when Eddie steps in “No! It’s not perfect! Sure he told us some stuff about his job but do we really know him? Other then the fact that he doesn’t know how to come up with a good stripper name”

“Low blow Eds” Richie clutches his chest as if he was deeply hurt. 

“Don’t call me that” 

Richie’s grin deepens “Aw, Eds, have I hit a nerve?” 

Eddie has about six different veins in his head that are about to pop when he chokes out “Loft meeting!” 

“But-“ Bill starts weakly

Eddie grabs Bill’s hand and pulls him and poor Ben by his shirt into the bathroom before he could even finish his sentence. 

It’s takes Richie about 3 seconds to give in and ease drop on the conversation, slowly running across the room and into the hallway where he spots what he assumes is the bathroom.  Leaning his head against the door, Richie hears Eddie call him an idiot about seven different times, (which, okay, that’s true, but it’s still rude none the less). To which Ben replies with,  _You’re just mad he made fun of your ugly fanny packs_

_They’re coming back in style!_ Richie snorts, yeah whatever you say shortcakes 

_ You said that like, two decades ago _

_ You just don’t understand good fashion choices  _

_ They’re fanny packs Eddie, there’s nothing fashionable about them.  _

_ Says the dick who dresses like in he’s in those bad Christmas hallmark movies  _

_ Oh my god,  _ Bill steps in. _okay how about this, executive decision, he’s in._

”Thank fuck I’m in” Richie says quietly, which apparently wasn’t too quiet because before he can react Bill opens the door he was leading against, making him fall flat on his face. 

“I promise you won’t regret this.”

**Author's Note:**

> also i would like to say that while richie is in jess’s role, he will have some of schmidt’s character traits bc he’s richie. n e ways that being said, i hope you enjoyed and dont forget to tell me what you think


End file.
